Why have I lost him?

I know I've done wrong
But what's done is done
The past can not be changed.
I know I can't change it
So what's one to do
The repentance is fully heart felt.

I don't understand
Why he hates me so much
He said he could never hate me.
Not only that
But he turns against me
The only ones that care.

And god I'm sorry
But what good is that
When he'll not listen anymore.
A friendship now
That's been through so much
Is broken, snapped in two.

And all because
Of one wrong deed
An action of pure selfishness.
I acted on
My impulses
The feeling in my gut.

What a mistake
I should have known
My friendship's not worth losing.
But all is well
In hindsight
Now he's gone forever.

But will I learn
From this mistake?
Will I now be selfless?
Or will it go on
Till I lose them all?
All the friends that I so need.

I have so few
And all so special
I risk losing them all.
Why can't I now
Just stop myself
From what I'm doing wrong