Actual logged calls into various help-desks:
RAC Motoring Services:
1) Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia?".
Operator: Doesn't the product name give you a clue?
2) Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?".
Directory Enquiries:
1) Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?".
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
off".
2) Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven?. Are you sure?".
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".
3) Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?".
Caller: "The living room".
4) On another occasion,
A man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried
operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write
the number on".
Computer Capers:
1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point? ".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
2) Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
file back again?".
British Rail:
1) Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?".
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".
2) Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
The Bank:
Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please".
Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?".
Caller: "Three years, please".
Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per month for 36 months. Is
that OK?".
Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"