It was a cold and windy day in Yarmouth as Pete boarded the train heading south.
'Still, the sun always shines on Coventry.' Pete thought as he removed his soaking wet jacket. He fiddled and faffed around for a while longer and then eventually took stock of his surroundings.
'Humping hamsters!' Pete exclaimed (both an expletive and a lifestyle choice).
Sharing the train with Pete were all manner of bizarre creatures. In the seat before him was a seven foot tall purple snail, directly behind him an animated cabbage who went by the name of Cyril. In the aisle opposite were the Kawolski twins, identical fiery antlered moose that never stopped bitching at each other, although Pamela Kawolski did give Peter a suggestive wink and a flash of illicit udder!
'I'm going back to normal fags and I'm off the vodka for ever' thought Pete. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again.
COVENTRY the sign said. 'Bloody eck as loike' said Pete, 'I'm only there already!'
He put on his jacket and walked jauntily to the doors, but even though the train had stopped the doors wouldn't open. Pete gave the door a shove, then a harder shove and finally a Yarmouth 'Uck off' shove. 'Aaargh!' screamed Pete as he fell 3 foot to the tracks, 'Bloody got off the wrong 'Uckin' side ain't I!' he exclaimed.

He quickly clambered over the tracks trying to look casual, as if he had meant to leap face first to the floor. 'What's that 'Uckin' noise?' he thought, 'Aaargh!' screamed Pete as he noticed a rather pretty Virgin racing towards him, 'It's a 'uckin' train!' and he dived face first to the tracks for the second time that minute.

Pete performed a rather 'James Bond' style roll under the train he had just fell off. Just missing the pretty (but deadly) Virgin train. Unfortunately for Pete the train didn't quite miss him, he noticed that he was missing a finger. But it wasn't the missing ligament nor loss of blood that had Pete worried, no it was the fact the finger seemed to be having further body parts growing from it. Before Pete had chance to get up onto the platform he heard a familiar voice " 'uckin' hell! "  He turned and saw himself, only it wasn't himself it was .......... a clone.

Pete examined the clone from head to toe and it was like him in every detail (apart from Pete wasn't naked, and wasn't quite that well endowed). The only thing that worried Pete (aside from the fact he had a naked clone standing in front of him, or the fact he was still standing on the train track), was there was something in the clones eyes that just didn't seem right.

to be continued.....................

suggestions for the next paragraph please

 

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